Sex therapy is about helping individuals, couples, and those in various relationship configurations find solutions to difficult blocks in the path of their sexual development and sexual enjoyment. Sex therapy brings counselling, relationship therapy, and training in sex, sexuality, and sexual difficulties into bed together.
Common sexual complaints
Sexual troubles are as diverse as the people who experience them, often having unique impacts on their sense of self, self-esteem, and relationship. They can range in complexity, severity, and the degree to which they impact a person’s sexual fulfillment. Sexual problems may be physiological, psychological, or relational, but often we see even a simple problem impacting all three areas. Some common sexual complaints:
Difference in sexual desires between partners
Lack of sexual enjoyment
Unwanted pain during sex
Sexual phobia or fears of being intimate
Sex lacking authenticity
Dissatisfaction with quality of sexual relationship
Inability to reach orgasm
Erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, dyspareunia
Difficulty with pornography
Reclaiming sexual touch and pleasure after trauma
Despite sexual difficulties being common experiences throughout the population, many people still feel quite alone, confused, disappointed, broken, ashamed, inadequate, and much worse when they experience these blocks. Often we look around us and think that everyone else is doing it better, having more sex, better sex, hotter sex, wilder sex, more pleasure, less pain, an easier time getting it, and an easier time getting it up and getting wet. Or we may make peace with our own unsatisfying situation by saying “at least we aren’t those people.”
Developing Great Sex
The absence of a specific identifiable sexual problem is not the equivalent of creating a great sexual relationship between you and your partner(s). Neither is it true that having a sexual problem strictly leads to a poor sexual relationship. Great sex is something that many people fantasize about, but very few commit to it’s development.
We all come into our relationships with an amalgamation of sexual preferences, experiences, learning, urges, desires, fantasizes, hangups, and patterns. None of these things spontaneously arrived in you fully formed and fleshed out as you are today. Sexual development creeps along from the moment you are born to the end of life with numerous points of exciting, and sometimes difficult, rapid changes. No two people will have the same sexual path in life and even our own experiences may be enough to challenge our sense of competence, confidence, and enjoyment.