Theoretical Approach
“You helped me get my light back.” — Former client
Some people want to know “what I’m doing when I’m doing it” sort of thing. They want to know what type of therapy or what special trick I’m going to do to cure them. First I just want to say that I welcome the question! You have a right to know and to ask whatever you want during therapy or even before we begin. The second thing I’ll say is that therapy looks different for each person. Sometimes it’s quiet and slow, gentle and inquisitive, and sometimes it’s laughter so loud that it can be heard down the hallway. The third point is that sometimes we need to accept that we don’t know what kind of therapy we need until we get it (otherwise, why would you need a therapist at all?). Sometimes people say they want CBT, and they want CBT because CBT is the best and most useful therapy of all time, but maybe what that person needed the most was to be heard, to be noticed for being wonderful, and to have an interesting experience that reawakens their ability to move with more agility through life.
So, that being said, during our conversations I will likely draw upon theory and methods from various schools of therapy such as Adlerian Individual Therapy, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy, Humanistic Psychotherapy, Existential Therapy, Experiential Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Mindfulness and Body-Centered Psychotherapies, and various schools of Sex Therapy. Because, why not? My hypothesis is that each of these things was “discovered” by different theorists because they contain something important about the human psyche and human experience that meant something important to the theorist. They discovered something that worked for them and some clients for some reason, and so some of it might work for you. But we must remain creative and think more broadly than just therapies that worked for someone, because you’re you, living your life, and not them, living some other life.
“We need to go even further: the therapist must strive to create a new therapy for each patient.” - Irvin Yalom
Adlerian Individual Therapy
“To see with the eyes of another, to hear with the ears of another, to feel with the heart of another.” — Alfred Adler
Although I draw on a large variety of theories and techniques, perhaps the style that best describes what my therapy is like is that of Adlerian individual therapy. According to Diane Gehart, Adlerian therapists are often quite encouraging, very optimistic, and hopeful about their clients. They tend to see the best in their clients and maintain a fundamental belief that clients can change their lives in meaningful ways. From the other Adlerian-oriented therapists I have met, I tend to think we also have a good sense of humour and a strong sense that we ought to work together to form supportive and mutual relationships.
Adlerian psychology is a holistic theory grounded in a developmental perspective that considers biological, psychological, social, environmental, and childhood experiences that have impacted and shaped who you are. Helping clients is as much about solving the immediate problems that discourage clients from pursuing their goals, but also helping to shape and improve the long-term life path of clients. Adlerians call this life trajectory the “style of life” which can be defined as the conscious and unconscious patterns and habits each of us develops and uses to respond to the main tasks of living (i.e. friendships, romantic relationships, work, family life, leisure, etc).
Adlerians believe that in order to develop a healthy psychological way of being, we must achieve a feeling of gemeinschaftsgefühl—a safe and secure sense of belonging to a community and a mutual interest in the well-being of others. When we achieve that state of psychological well-being we develop a sense of freedom, of safety, of happiness, and of courage. However, it is not unusual for clients (and therapists) to struggle with fears of failure, inadequacy, discouragement, depression, and so on. Often these feelings compound when we pull back from others, think that we should solve our problems on our own, fear becoming a burden to others, and think that we will end up alone crying into the darkness forever. However, we are fundamentally better off together, helping each other, and being supportive. It takes tremendous bravery to share our fears and weaknesses with others, but we are stronger for it.
If you’d like to know more about Adlerian Individual Therapy, this video by Dr. Diane Gehart is a wonderful resource.